What options are available to gay and lesbian couples who are splitting up? If they've been legally married but live in a state that doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, getting divorced may not be an option. If they are not legally married but have kids, they may have to go to civil court to divide up their property, and to family court to get an order about their children.
It is much easier to do collaborative process or mediation, where the couple themselves can make decisions. I've done both for same-sex couples, and they both work well, because you can be very creative in making agreements, and come up with decisions that fit your real needs.
The New York Times ran two good articles about this topic last week:
'Traditional' Divorce isn't always an Option for Gay Couples
7 Tips for Dissolving gay unions